The Bengali Wedding: Madhobi & Haroon – Part Three

“Madhobi signs the marriage contract with her mother and sister Korobi". Centocelle Baitussalam Jame Mosque. ROME – 21 September 2020   

The second wedding took place in a single day, in a simpler way and focused on the Nikah rite.

But that doesn't make it less interesting, because it has two shades that make it exceptional in my eyes.

But let's go in order. 

“Madhobi arrives at the mosque with her family" 

This too was a Muslim wedding.

As we have seen, akad nikah is the formalization of the pact agreed between the families in the presence of the imam and the witnesses.

In fact it took place in the mosque, with all the women and the bride hidden by a curtain in the female part, and the men with the imam in the part where they pray.

The couple had to confirm their intention to marry, recite the shahada, which is the confession to the Islamic faith, and receive the imam's blessing.

The documents were signed by both, in a relay race between the women's and men's sides.

The groom confirmed his intention with an Alhamdulillah (“thank God”) before the imam, while the bride had to repeat the word "Kobul" (“I agree”) three times in front of a male witness, and then explode into a liberating cry of joy.

The ceremony was followed by lunch and a photo shoot to immortalize this unforgettable moment.

 

But why was it a particular wedding?

The first reason is emotional.

The bride is called Madhobi, or Tasaffa (her real name), and she is a 29-year-old girl from Bangladesh. Well, she and her sister Korobi were maybe the first Bangladeshi girls I photographed in Rome, back in 2006, that is 4 years before I “officially” started my career as a photographer – it's always difficult to establish a beginning for something so indefinite like a passion that becomes work, but I have always marked 2009 as a “historic” date when I started photographing the Bangladeshi New Year.

They were, at the time, the two most famous traditional dancers in Rome, if not in Italy, instructed by their mother who was an expert dancer when she was young.

Madhobi was 15-year-old and her sister only 12.

Then, in recent years we have lost touch, her family moved to London in 2014, as well as her sister who got married in 2019, while I was living in Malaysia.

However, our friendship has never faded, and we always remember those early years with pleasure. I was immensely happy to see again “ammu” (“mom”) Naznin and her husband, who went down to Rome for the wedding.

 

Photographing weddings, if it is not necessarily a job, is a profound joy, because you are sharing one of the greatest happiness for a person, perhaps comparable only to the birth of a child.

Seeing Madhobi's tears, and her mother's, was like a bright river running down her cheeks to the sweat drops on her forehead in their first dances.

Very sweet.

 

The second reason is related to the groom, Haroon, whom I did not know.

As soon as I saw him in the mosque, I immediately thought that he was not Bangladeshi, but Pakistani, due to his clothes and facial features.

And so he confirmed to me, even though he specified that he was born and raised in Libya, to Pakistani parents, and then arrived in Italy ten years ago where he now works as a translator in the courts and in police headquarters.

Well, in more than ten years, I have never known about weddings between spouses from Bangladesh and Pakistan (and not a little was the amazement among the Bangladeshi friends when I told about this marriage).

For those unfamiliar with history, these two countries were at odds and hatred until the 1971 liberation war, when Bangladesh broke away from West Pakistan, becoming an autonomous nation.

A bloody war, with terrible crimes, which is difficult to forget.

Saint Giovanni 

But now is not the time to talk about it.

Because this is a love story.

Of a man who sees a beautiful woman in traditional clothes dancing at a festival in Largo Preneste, two years ago.

He shoots a video of her dance, searches for and finds her on social networks and sends her that video.

From that moment they began to know each other and love has grown up until today, in which they decided to belong to each other, with the promise that it will be forever.

Proving that the history of the nations, their blood and their wounds, are one thing.

The life of individuals, their emotions and dreams are something else.

Best wishes Madhobi – this will always be your name for me.

At least I saw you almost dancing, for the photographs, one last time, in the rain of Rome. 

Saint Giovanni. ROME – 21 September 2020 

READ ALSO:

• The Bengali Wedding: Nadia and Sayeem – Part One
• The Bengali Wedding: Nadia and Sayeem – Part Two

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